Friday, January 29, 2016


A friend of mine on Facebook posted a list of questions and answers she had asked her three year old, urging others to do the same with their children and list their responses.  Alden, of course, is too young to question (his answers would be "no", "no", "no" and "NOOOOO") but I thought it'd be fun to ask Kai the questions.  I'm so glad I did, as I love her answers and have read them over and over.  Here they are:

1. What is something I always say to you? I love you

2. What makes me happy? Me and Alden

3. What makes me sad? When I don't listen and when I say mean things about dinner

4. How do I make you laugh? Telling me something funny

5. What was I like as a child? You liked to play soccer

6. How old am I? 39

7. How tall am I? Don't know

8. What is my favorite thing to do? Play with me and Alden

9. What do I do when you're not around? Work

10. What am I really good at? Cooking and taking care of us

11. What am I not very good at? Ummmm.... I don't know.... Working at a restaurant?

12. What do I do for a job? You are the policy director for Children's Rights

13. What is my favorite food? Ummm... I don't know.... Chicken from Costco?

14. What do you enjoy doing with me? Going somewhere... Like on a trip
- Kailey, age 7

I often feel like I am a mediocre mom.  I get inpatient.  I rush from thing to thing and forget to stop and really be present.  I nag... a LOT.  Kai and I get in little tiffs and, admittedly, sometimes I could just let it go.  I rush everyone around and over-schedule us. 

But, reading her answers to my questions makes me so happy to see that, at her core, the primary feeling is love.  She feels loved.  And cared for.  And she feels that she and Alden are the center of my universe (they are) and spending time with them is the best part of my days (it is... even though I forget that in oh so many moments as I rush around and try to get too many things done for too many people). 

And, I love how her answers also hint at the rush of our life -- that my favorite food is Costco chicken.  I do say I love Costco chicken frequently.  My own roasted chicken is much better, in my humble opinion, but the Costco chicken is $5.  And ALREADY COOKED.  And doesn't make a mess in my kitchen.  It's far from my favorite food, but I can see why she would think it is my favorite given my exuberance every time we get it.  Now, if I could just find a service to deliver it... well, then, it might be all we ever eat. So, probably best that in order to have it, I have to find parking and brave the lines at Costco.  

And she also notes my impatience and frustration in answering the question about what makes me sad  I feel strongly that we should sit down together as a family many times a week and eat a diverse diet, as opposed to noodles, pizza or sushi every night (which is what Kai would choose!) but it is a huge time suck to meal plan, cook and clean... and, so, I get upset at her (increasingly so) when she complains and refuses to eat.  But, she's been getting better about trying foods and eating a bit more.  So, we're making progress. 

And I love how she hesitated when I asked her what I'm not good at.  I'm sure that was partly due to her not wanting to offend me.  She could think of lots of things if she tried -- see the list above!  But, she hesitated and then responded with something I had previously told her I wasn't very good at -- which was working in a restaurant (which is what I was doing the summer I met Eric).  I was fine at running the coffee station (which was my actual job), but when the kitchen next to the coffee cart got busy, they'd pull me in to wait tables.  I was less good at that and I told Kai a story once about me dropping someone's food -- so, that's what she went with.  Too funny. 

I'll have to try to find other questions to ask her -- it's so fun to see what she's thinking in any moment and I know I don't have many more years of her being willing to answer my silly questions. 

I love you so much, Kailey!


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